Dear Fellow White, Straight Men
These are interesting times we live in. Never before in our history have we faced such blatant opposition to the status quo, largely fueled by movements like #metoo, Black Lives Matter, and social media platforms leveling the playing field for voices of all genders, races, and sexual orientations. Our white male way of life is being threatened. We need to act accordingly because something is happening. It’s up to us to not sit idly by while the winds of change threaten to blow us over, push us out of relevance, or cause us to lose our voice and place at the head of the table. These voices that speak out against the current state of society have demonstrated that they are powerful, organized, influential, passionate, and driven to make the world a better place not just for themselves, but for everyone.
It’s time for us to stand alongside those people as allies and stand up to those who look like us who would seek to keep them down. Just because we haven’t felt oppression, distrust, or judgement because of who we are, the things we do, or what we look like, that does not mean that these issues don’t exist. In fact, it is often the people that look and act like us that are the ones imposing our beliefs on others.
If the last two paragraphs made you uncomfortable, then you’re the exact type of person I’m addressing. Because that feeling of pride in ourselves, but disdain from others for who we are and what we believe is the exact feeling that women, people of color, and members of the LGBTQ+ community have been facing for decades upon decades. From generation to generation, that feeling of persecution for what they look like has been passed on, urging certain types of people to believe that they are less than others, simply because of what they looked like when they were born.
Throughout history, when these issues have been presented to us by others, we often tell them to “get over it,” “it’s not that bad,” and “these issues don’t really exist - at least not to any noticeable degree.” And when we say that to them, we are effectively telling others that they don’t deserve as tall of a seat at the table as us. When we say “I don’t think about gender or race,” we’re admitting privilege prevails over our sense of consideration (which isn’t true, and that’s proven every time we get upset that a non-white actor is cast as someone who we believe should be white). When we brush off pride parades and argue for straight parades, when we talk condescendingly to women and people of color, or when we say that we “aren’t racist because I have a friend who is black” and then shut the door to all other people of color as an act of moral licensing, then we are acting like those who are different than us are less deserving of the world and freedoms we’ve enjoyed for so many decades and centuries.
See, here’s the thing: nothing changes unless people change. We straight, white men are sitting on the highest pedestal, staring straight outward towards the horizon, afraid to look down to see how many faces of people of color, women, and people of different sexual orientations we’ve put the feet of our ladders on to climb as high as we are. This is not meant as a guilt trip - although I get the sense that many of you out there reading this are having an emotional response to this and are ardently defending your own thoughts and actions - but rather, this is an acknowledgement that the status quo is what we’re comfortable with. We are afraid that if we open the doors to others who don’t look like us, we’ll be forced out. It’s tough to release any level of power, and I get it - I often look and act just like you. But the everest that we’re looking out from will suffocate us if we’re not careful. What I said in my first paragraph is true - change is coming. Rather than look at that as a threat, I offer a challenge to you: Sit down and talk to those people who are upset, and find out why they’re out there protesting, speaking out, and are unhappy with the way things are.
If we decide that instead of fighting against change, and start fighting for it, what’s the worst that is going to happen? The world is changing, whether we like it or not, and we need to recognize and welcome that change, rather than bury our heads in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong. And we should do this not because of fear, not because of guilt, but because a world built for everyone is a world we should all want to live in.
The people that look and act differently than us are amazing. The world has so many people that are beautiful, inspiring, and hopeful, and they have so much more to offer than what we want to allow for. I highly encourage you, dear fellow white, straight male, to embrace that change - because different is not always bad.
I always teach my students that your best learning happens when you’re outside of your comfort zone. Maybe that lesson should reach beyond the walls of the classroom…
